Well I was thinking I hadn’t had a power fantasy in a while earlier this evening… Just spent 10 minutes thinking about ripping chunks of the pavement up and hurling them at the buildings across the street… Whoops. Although I haven’t spent a disproportionate amount of time hating everything lately. I even had a whole day where I was happy and didn’t get fed up of spending time with people. Two of the three people I hung out with were people I’ve lived with for two years so basically consider family which might have had something to do with it.
Would be nice to have a real family honestly. Just a reason for me actually to live. Living for myself is really not enough lately. And I just don’t have enough pride in anyone else to live for them.
God everything in my life revolves around my ego. Rewatching Battlestar Galactica I’ve realised the only reason I dislike Gaius Baltar is because he’s too much like me and I hate people like myself. My ego and my self preservation are basically the only two things that matter to me.